My Friend

Why does bad stuff happen to good people? The "logical me" knows bad stuff happens to everybody but it is most painful when it seems undeserved or happens to someone you care about deeply. Surely they didn't deserve it.

Cindy is married to a good friend of mine. I don't know Cindy well but we have spent time together. Our conversations sporadic but enjoyable. Cindy has interesting hobbies like sewing and making beautiful dresses by hand. Cindy's dresses find their way into historical reenactments so quality and authenticity are important. My own wife is heavily involved in different hand-crafts, so I have a great appreciation for the amount work that probably goes into it. It's a labor of love. Something tangible. Something to be respected and appreciated.

By all accounts Cindy has been a great wife to my friend Wayne and mother to their son Clark. Wayne and I bonded over work and sealed the deal over spirits (the drinkable kind.) Cindy often joined us at industry events where I got to know her. Even if just a little.

Cindy has cancer.

We celebrated Cindy's remission in June of 2015. It was an emotional day. End of life stuff is hard. Thinking about it is hard. Planning for it is hard. Actually living through it is really hard. Cindy's cancer is back and is... now untreatable. A community of colleagues and friends has gathered (online and some in person) to support Cindy, Wayne and Clark in their final moments together. If you know Wayne or just care about the human condition and want to support the family, you can read more about it here.

https://www.gofundme.com/vansluys

This is not a marketing post for donations. Just a time to read and reflect on what is important in your life. Another friend guest-posted some thoughtful words as someone who has been through this before.

https://realtrigeek.com/2018/01/04/its-time-to-rally-the-oracle-community-for-the-van-sluyss/

Make this the day (or week or year) that you find a community that you can be part of. Spend time with your community, family and friends. When you can, help others in their time of need if you are so inclined. In the end, it is not our technology, our code or our career choices that will remember us.

#FuckCancer

Cover Photo by Davide Cantelli on Unsplash